Friday, March 1, 2013

Porn of the Month

Sex blogs that want to stay classy do not have porn in them. It is time to break this pattern and being the revolutionary person I am there is no better woman for the job.

Porn of the Month will be a new segment. On the Wordpress site, it will be one of the posts. On the Blogger site, it will be a separate page since the Blogger site is more tame. Or at least that is my intent. I find it harder to post like a blog on another Wordpress page that is not the main page. If viewers on the Blogger site wish to see it, they can go to the Porn of the Month page that is displayed like a blog.

You may choose which layout you like best. I hope I have interconnected them well for easy access.

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Friday, February 22, 2013

An Uninvited Guest

Kalib awoke in his coffin. Someone was tapping on the outside. No, they were not tapping, something was scraping against it. He would hate for the ornate markings on the lid to be damaged. He waited patiently for the noise to stop, feeling his stomach adjusting to the fact that he had not fed in years. When the noise stopped, he slowly slid the coffin lid off and sat up. He could feel his hunger now. His long legs stood proud, nearly dirtying the red lining of the coffin as he stepped out and smoothed out his coat. He hoped that it had not gone out of style in the years he had been sleeping. He was proud that he had made it onto the boat. He had given his ghoul strict instructions to get him on the Twilight Symphony on October 18, 1823 to travel from England to the Orient, so that he may sample the delights of the east. His long hair was in place, the way he had styled it when he shut himself up for a decade and a half.

There was lantern light behind him. He slowly spun around to see a young man in the corner shaking uncontrollably, staring at the creature that emerged from the box of death. Kalib smiled and approached him. Terrified, the man threw his hat at him and tried to run for the stairs. Kalib stopped him with one hand.

“This is simply perfect.” Kalib whispered. “I hunger after so many years, and a meal is brought to me by God.” The man couldn’t scream. “What is your name good sir?”

“Adam.” The man said dropping the lantern. Luckily it did not break and set the entire boat ablaze.

“Well Adam, I’ll be sure they put ‘brought by God’ on your headstone.”


“Well yes, did you think after seeing a vampire in person you would live? But don’t worry. You won’t even know when you’re dead.” And Kalib quickly tilted his head and tore into his neck, gulping at the blood spray that echoed from the wound. Adam didn’t make a noise. His neck was numb from shock. He was losing consciousness fast. When Kalib had his fill, he dropped him and went up the stairs. Someone would find Adam in due time.

The next level of the boat was filled with sleeping quarters, and it was much nicer than the storage area down below. A whiff of perfume caught his attention. There was a young woman on board amongst the burly men he saw around him. He walked down the hall, following the lovely smooth allure. He was right at her door and he listened in. He heard her humming and brushing her hair. He knew that feeling of lust all too well, and it had been so long since he eased the tension in his loins. He opened the door to reveal a beautiful blonde haired woman in a corset and girdle. She covered herself with the large towel next to her basin and gasped. She could not scream over the sheer terror in her heart. Kalib closed the door and approached her slowly.

“You certainly are a beauty.” He smiled, removing his coat and placing it on the rack in the corner by the door. “I can smell that you are virgin also.”

“Uh!” the woman shouted. “How dare you! Get out! Get out! You can’t see me like this! My fiancĂ©e is in the military and he will strike you down where you stand if he saw you looking at me like that!”

Kalib laughed. “And where is this mysterious fiancĂ© of yours?”

She tilted her nose away from him. “He is in Asia. We are going to him for the wedding. Now get out before I summon my guards!”

Kalib took off his vest and shoes, and locked the door. “You wouldn’t dare raise an alarm.” And he smiled at her, revealing his fangs. “I’m sure you will enjoy me more than a soldier. Although he has seen death, I have not only experienced it, I’ve brought it on. Thousands of people have died by my hand.” He took her hand and kissed it. “But you will not be one of them. Though your chastity shall, and I should know the name of the woman so innocent before me.”

She was taken aback by his charms. “Elizabeth.”

He began untying the laces of her corset, kissing her neck, gliding his fangs across her shoulder. She could feel them like daggers at her throat. She was afraid, but mostly aroused by them. They awoke in her a deep feeling. Something began to itch inside her. Her corset fell off, revealing her excited breasts to her master for the evening. She covered herself. “No, if I am not a virgin when I am married, I will be shamed.”

Kalib gently pulled her arms away. “The bliss I will show you tonight will outweigh any shame you have. He cannot give you the powerful emotions I will invoke inside of you.” He stroked her thigh, almost clenching it in his mighty hand. He kissed her neck, his fangs desperately trying to dig into her skin just for a taste of the purest European blood the world could offer.

“Are you going to bite me?” she wondered.

“When the time is right. In the throes of passion it can heighten the sensation to the point of ecstasy.” He nibbled her throat, almost wanting to cause her pain. To control her in every aspect. He pushed her onto the bed and pulled off her knickers. She was fully exposed. Embarrassed, she pulled the covers over her. Kalib undid his pants and took them off slowly, revealing his member. Elizabeth did not know they could grow to be so big. He was only eight inches, but she had never seen one except on her younger brother. He was grown now. She wondered if his looked like that. His pants slid off of him, and Elizabeth was able to capture each inch as it was unveiled. It was a tapestry of veins and nerves that she could already feel working their way inside her. As he came closer to claim his prize, she studied it. It was looking at her now, never letting go of its intentions. Kalib crawled onto the bed and pulled the covers over himself. His warm member touched her thigh. She covered her eyes with the sheets, but could not stop herself from opening her legs. He caressed her thigh where his dick had plopped down not a moment before. He moved his hand up and just one finger into her wet treasure. She truly wanted him inside her. Her treasure could have been panting for him. He inched himself closer to her, cramping them together. His member laying on her. He picked it up and slid it down her to her entrance. He put his arm around her neck and began kissing her passionately. She knew he was going to start pushing it in. She did not know how to feel. She wanted it, but would he be too big and hurt her? Was that what was supposed to happen? Should she stop him or was it too late? Was he taking advantage of her, or was this what she wanted?

She felt him bite her shoulder. He was inside of her. His member felt like it had enlarged inside of her.

Kalib felt her tightness around him. It was honestly hurting him and he had never experienced a woman tight enough to cause him pain. He enjoyed the feeling. As he thrust in and out of her as slow as he could manage, she began to open up. He was able to pick up speed rapidly, her moans hushed by his hand over her mouth. He bit down on her shoulder hard enough to break skin. He had to hang on somehow. This girl was not a normal girl. She had hurt him. He could not control himself for long without bracing himself in some way. It had been so long for him, and she had never.

Elizabeth wondered why no one had come in. Did they not hear her moans despite his hand gagging her? Each thrust made her moan louder and harder. She could not catch her breath. He was inside her as far as he could go, moving slow enough yet they were such long thrusts. Her breathing was labored. What was this feeling in her lungs? She was out of breath from the excitement. Could she hold on long enough? She clutched the pillow, and tried to lessen her screams, but the pain and pleasure mix was too much. Almost too much for her to take. She felt a strange sensation in her loins. He was moving too perfectly. She could not handle it and a wave of pleasure mounted her and drove her to heaven and back. Kalib pushed his hand harder onto her mouth to silence her screams. He shushed her while she came, almost like he was telling her the feeling was normal, and that she had accomplished something great by his hand. Like she was thanking him with every tingling part of her tiny body.

Saw this lovely picture. It's absolutely perfect.
Kalib lasted as long as he could. He knew he would not get a fuck as good as this ever again. He wanted to flip her over and dominate her more, but he did not want to hurt such a darling treasure, and he would also become over excited and the orgasm would be ruined. He relaxed his legs and moved his hips until he came. He barely had the strength to pull out his member and ejaculate on her bare breasts. He collapsed on her, semen splashing on the sheets.

Elizabeth felt his member hot with her juices flop down on her chest and spurt his seed on her. It just excited her more. She could have continued, but she was sore and weak. She fainted under him.

Kalib put his clothes back on, and spent the rest of the trip watching the moon. As they pulled into the harbor, he left the dear woman behind, leaving only the memory of the great lay.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Cold, Hard, but Not Cash

Rhode Islanders repeatedly call cops over 12-foot snow penis (via Raw Story )
UPDATE (5:35 pm): The Huffington Post reported that the snow penis was demolished just two hours after it posted the original story. “It’s just a big pair of balls now,” Raylene Worthington, the mother of the 16-year-old responsible for the sculpture, told HuffPo. The townsfolk in South Kingstown… 

It’s just a penis and testicles, the male anatomy. There’s nothing offensive about it. If someone can complain about that, then I want to make a complaint that snowmen mocks obesity and snowangels infringe on the rights of other religions.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Stimulating Reading

This has got to be one of the best reviews for a dildo I have heard on YouTube. My ex who I have mentioned before is a geek. He sent me this video thinking I would like it. From what I can gather, the man talking condescends bad YouTube entries. He stumbled upon the journal of Sifian, the man who made the video showing while he speaks. He is reading to make fun of this man and his writings, yet does not the general public identify the work with the reader and not the writer?

Looks like we cannot escape the topic of anal sex once again. Although Sifian is also a geek and seems like an outsider, I think he is very brave for discussing his experiences with his sexual toys. Sifian's blog is here but it looks like he has not updated for more than a year. The same goes for his YouTube channel. I wonder what he is up to now.

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